By: Elder Allen Daniels

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Personal forgiveness of others is taught in several places in the Scriptures. It teaches us how we should act toward others. Each of us is accountable to God for our disobedience, but we are not accountable for the sins of others. We must do what the Scriptures teach us and leave the acts of others to God.

When dealing with this subject on a personal basis, the Lord approaches it from “both ends”. He leaves no room to make excuses or justify ourselves.

The first situation is where we have offended a brother or sister in Christ.

Consider this Scripture:

“Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.” Matt 5:23-24

Jesus states if we come to our “prayer altar” and while there we remember that our brother has something against us, we are to leave our gift at the altar and go make it right with the one that is offended. He is not referring to those situations in which someone has offended us, but He is referring to those occasions when we have mistreated someone and hurt him, so that he holds a grudge against us, and the matter remains unsettled.

“Be reconciled to thy brother” – this phrase means to settle the difficulty; to make proper acknowledgment, or satisfaction, for the injury. If you have wronged someone, make restitution. If you owe someone a debt, which ought to be paid, pay it. If you have injured someone’s character, confess it, and seek forgiveness. The problem may be just a misunderstanding. You may have said something that was taken the wrong way, or your conduct may have been such as to lead someone to suspect that you meant him harm. Just go to them and make an explanation. Do all within your power to settle the matter, and then go back to your prayer alter and pray that God will bring peace to you and your offended friend. If you have done all you can to make it right, then you have obeyed the Lord and must leave the rest in His capable hands.

Jesus also instructs us as how to deal with situations where a brother or sister has offended us.

Consider the following Scriptures:

“Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.” Matthew 18:21-22

“And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.” Mark 11:25-26

“Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.” Luke 17:3-4

In these verses, the Lord is teaching us what our actions and attitudes should be toward those who have offended us. “Forgive him.” To forgive means we are to treat the brother or sister as though the offense never occurred. It means that we are promising the offender that we will not harbor malice against him, or treat him unkindly. To forgive literally means “to put away”. The offense can never be brought up again. As there is NO LIMIT to how many times Jesus will forgive us, neither can we set limits on how many times we can forgive our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Forgiveness is not forgetting. When God said He would remember our sins no more, it doesn’t mean that He will erase His memory; rather, it means that He will love and save His people in spite of those sins.

Some people say that they have tried and tried and tried again, and they just can’t forgive the person who has offended them. Perhaps you have had this experience in your own life. Forgiveness does not depend on how we feel about it, but it depends on our willingness to obey God’s Word and then acting accordingly. When someone says that they have tried to forgive and the offense just keeps nagging them, the reason for this is they are equating forgiveness with forgetting, and since they can’t forget it, they conclude that they can’t forgive, thinking that surely forgiving would make everything right and they would feel good again.

Sure, we often can’t forget, and we continue to feel the pain of the offense, even after following our Lord’s command to forgive. The Lord did not make forgiving others conditional on their part neither was His forgiveness of us conditioned on what we would do; but rather, our forgiveness is conditioned on what Jesus has done for us, and as we receive the free gift, we are to freely give.

Forgiving is difficult work: once we have announced that we have forgiven someone, we must then go to work and make the sacrifice, which can mean swallowing our pride and praying earnestly for the one we have forgiven. Forgiveness, being a process, may take quite some time (maybe years) to heal the wounds left by the offenses of the one we have forgiven; nevertheless, the end result is worth the wait. When the healing of such internal wounds is complete, we are made stronger because of having lived through the process and we have allowed the peace of God to rule in our hearts. ( Col 3:13-15)

The application of these Scriptures is not only important in our personal walk with our Lord, but also for the peace in Zion. If we desire revival and peace, we must pursue them by conducting ourselves according to the teaching of the Prince of Peace.

May the God of peace and mercy be with us as we strive to obey His Word.

Published: 2011-04-24 by WAD